It’s hard to believe that it has been 25 years since I walked down that aisle with my Daddy. I will never forget his words “Are you ready Baby?” I mumble a yes, and take the first steps. It was one of the most memorable steps we would take together. I was not supposed to notice him reaching under the rim of his glasses to wipe a tear. I was between starting a new life and being “given away” it was a bittersweet moment for this 20-year-old.
My future was waiting at the end of that aisle. The person with whom I would spend the rest of my life. I can still remember the way he never took his eyes off of me during my journey down that aisle. I still find myself blushing about it today…followed by a small giggle. The fact that he still says I’m “pretty” doesn’t matter if it is true..only that he still tells me…~grin~
It’s hard to imagine how quiet I was at the age of 20. As a matter of fact, Derek would often tell me he thought I was “spoiled” and “conceded” when he first met me. Little did he know that it just happened to be my shy and quiet personality. I’m sure he wishes some days he could see that person again lol!
I had thought a lot about this being our “Silver” year. I looked at the word meaning: a white, ductile metallic element, used for making mirrors, coins, ornaments, table utensils, photographic chemicals, etc. Not much of a definition in the way of Anniversary? I also took notice that “Silver” denotes – time, and I know this term. Twenty five years of time..have passed and I have no idea where they have went! Silver is also used to make mirrors.. which I find very relevant to us this year. It has been a time of reflecting…
Looking back over the past 25 years..is exactly like gazing into a mirror. Perception of ones self and those around us through a looking-glass. What do I see? Everything. Moments, life changing events, happiness, sadness, strength and weakness. I see things I would change, and things I would never even dream of changing.
Our conversation over supper last night caused Hannah to erupt into a fit of giggles. It is hard for her to imagine the world of her parents dating era. She asked if I thought she would ever get married? I assured her that it was more likely than not – but not until she was at least 35! I began telling her how I was friends with her Daddy before dating him. We kind of hung out together. I told her how things started to change when I found myself pretending I was cold.. just so he would offer me his jacket. I loved the smell of his cologne! It went from lending me his jacket, to “Do you want to ride around town?” Keeping in mind that Derek was pretty quiet also? this was major. I never said no, about cruising with him in town. Before long, he asked me out on an “official” date. We often laugh at how long we used to stay on the telephone and nothing but breathing.. and “are you still there?” but we did.
After 25 years, I would love to say that we still listen to one another breathe and enjoy it.. but he doesn’t really find anything appealing about my snoring! sorry babe! I guess no more than I relish in him making me car sick when I am “riding around town” in our former home town! It’s not the same as riding around in the Trans-Am holding hands like we were going to lose site of one another!
I see the past 25 years in moments.. not time. Moments that pulled us together, being there for me when my Daddy died unexpectedly in a car accident, the lonely years of waiting for Hannah to come along or holding me during the loss of my mother. The moments we have shared good times, the ups and downs of being parents. The chuckles we had on this anniversary because I mistakenly bought him a Birthday card…apparently the eyes are showing 25 years of decline!
Yes, we are Silver now.. and we will tarnish that quite a bit at times I am sure. Honestly, he would probably admit that sometimes we don’t like one another very much. He often jokes that the wedding ring is the only thing you can put on your finger, and feel it tightening around your neck! bwahahhaha. Oh how I wish that He had the perfect wife..I am not her… lol. Do we love each other? Positively! It has been a journey, we are still learning, tolerating and trying to make the most of our experiences. Relationships are work. It can be exhausting and rewarding all at the same time. I do not cherish the people who say marriage is 50/50. Apparently they are still single. We often take much more than we give..sometimes we give more than we take. It’s a balance that we are still muddling through. Do I have marital advice..seldom. No two marriages are the same anymore than two people are the same. Not possible. Make your moments last.. because time will not. It will keep on going long after we are gone. Most importantly, be forgiving with one another. It isn’t hard to love someone..that’s the easy part.
So, here is to 25 more, the next milestone of Golden! May God continue to be the center, each other in the middle…and walking the last mile.. together.