“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall” foretold in the fairy tale of my childhood-It was about beauty and being the fairest of them all. Amazingly, decades later, it would be about the inner workings of the soul for me. I loved the fairy tale as a little girl. Then… it happens all too soon..life turns from fiction to non-fiction, and you begin your own story.

At the beginning of the year, I mentioned that I would not be making resolutions. I would be doing inside maintenance that is reserved for my thoughts only. “Imperfect Progress” is one of my favorite new descriptions from Lysa TerKeurst book “Unglued.” So yes, I will continue to use it often.

Needing to take care of some errands, I hurriedly look in my mirror and decide that I really should make a little more effort when I go out. I love being a stay at home mom, but not wanting to become too complacent, I still try to put on a little makeup during the day. I am a pretty low-maintenance gal. I look in the mirror, and I look tired. Today, is a different kind of tired-I can see it in my own reflection. My thoughts are tired,  my soul is weary and it’s going to take a little more than some mascara to conceal it today.

I longed for the quiet, shy little girl with two bouncy pigtails to reappear in the mirror today, the one that liked to skip and giggle and play games with her little brother. I miss her. The one that rode her bicycle endless hours, played in the hills until the sun indicated three o’clock. I am determined to be a little more diligent in looking for her in the days to come.

As I revisited the little girl in the mirror today, I remembered some things that made her who she was.  She dreamed. She believed. She loved unconditionally. She once believed in fairy tales. I am overwhelmed by her absence in the person I see before my eyes. I turn away, feeling the loss.

I am convinced that the inner person you choose to feed the most is the one that will become more apparent. I will attempt to pour more into the dreamer than the realist, and somewhere in between I hope they can become middle of the road companions. Is that even possible? I am still searching.  I may need to look a little deeper to find the little girl in the mirror…Honestly? she makes me a little unsettled and afraid,  my “Imperfect  Progress” …. but progress nonetheless. I patiently await her reflection.