Hide and Seek was often a favorite game of mine during childhood. We had an entire alley to roam at night, never fearing anyone kidnapping us. The only sound we perked our ears for, was the sound of our parents calling us when it was time to come home. Hiding was fun, not being found was a great accomplishment. When you were “it”- it was sometimes exhausting trying to find someone in such a broad area. I was much better at hiding.

Apparently, I am still quite good at hiding as an adult. Jokingly, a friend and I once referred to it as “Operation Ostrich” ~ when things were a little more than we could endure? In the mental sand pit our heads would go. It worked, if only temporary.

I am still trying to keep my head out of the sand. To be honest? I like it there. I see nothing, I feel nothing, and I say nothing. Like the Ostrich, I think I am invisible. No matter what danger or turmoil surrounds me, I attempt to be oblivious. A temporary fix, until I am able to breathe again.

Researching the Ostrich, I find that sticking his head in the sand is actually a myth. When he is threatened, he runs with all of his might – climbing to speeds up to 70  mph. I am not a runner physically, but mentally I can make long strides seem effortless. It’s like running in your dreams, and then you realize that no matter how fast your legs are moving, you can’t seem to gain any distance.

I’ve looked for a place to hide all week, too many tragedies in the lives of the people who are part of my corner of the world. I feel the guilt for wanting to displace myself from the place they are-knowing their hurts. They don’t have the choice to remove themselves from their circumstances, having no place to hide.

I am a coward. I say this because I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to revisit the place I strive everyday to leave, knowing that no matter what I say to encourage? it is still a place that no one wants to be. I don’t want my friends to be here. I don’t want my immediate family to be here. It is a desolate place that brings sadness, frustration, and the overwhelming need to find a place to hide.

Learning more about the characteristics of the Ostrich, I find that he doesn’t hide forever. He faces the enemy at times head on. It is during this time that he uses every resource available to him. His legs are powerful, and strangely enough they can only kick “forward” So that’s what we do, we kick forward when we can no longer hide. Sometimes we can’t even feel our legs kicking or running, we just know they are from the evidence that another day has passed.

My prayer is that you find rest in your hiding place, strength to continue to kick forward. I pray that you find the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)…especially when nothing makes sense. I often saturate myself with one of my favorite songs…I hope you find the words as a beacon of light, shining through your darkest hours, abiding quietly and safely in your very own hiding place…Under His Wings.

Under His Wings

night-time came, the shadows fell

I could not find my way

the terrors of the night took hold

how I yearned for break of day

then He saw my plight and out in the night

He shined his light…and called me to His side.

………and I ran, Under His Wings

there He covered me and now I can see…

The enemy still looks for me, but what he can’t see

is that I’m under my Lord’s wings.